In God She Trusts

Posts Tagged ‘april rodriguez

Oh, are you sure…
Where is the passion in this living
Are you sure it’s God you’re serving
Obligated to a system
Getting less then you’re deserving
Who made up these schools, I say
Who made up these rules, I say
Animal conditioning
Oh, just to keep us as a slave

Oh, just get out
Of this social purgatory
Just get out
All these traditions are alive
Just get out
Superstition killing freedom
Knowin’ my condition
Is the reason I must die
Just get out

Let’s get out
Knowin’ my condition
Is the reason I must die
Just get out
– Lauryn Hill

KNOWING MY CONDITION IS THE REASON I MUST DIE.

I think scripture says that when you receive God into your life, you are born anew, and the old you dies. You then no longer serve yourself, but you submit your new being to God.. to his will.. to his plans. The old you is dead, and the new you becomes a servant to his ultimate plan for mankind.

I feel that in this point in my life, I’m experiencing a lot of unexpected roadblocks along my path. This phase has caused me to be vulnerable and has forced me in a position to fall, and call out to Him for guidance.

Through this desperate time, I’ve been questioning the direction I’ve taken in life… whether it’s a direction I’ve taken to selfishly please MYSELF or if it’s a direction that the newlyborn me is taking to ultimately serve His purpose.

Recently, there’s been an inner restlessness in me. It’s almost unbearable sometimes. It’s that sinful nature, I guess–to clearly see the target, but intentionally shoot in the other direction. I don’t expect most people to easily understand this type of struggle. There aren’t many people near me who I can share this type of frustration with. It’s a very difficult thing to try to explain.

In the end, what’ll make me fully happy is to know that I’m just making the right choices–not for myself… I want nothing for myself… but for Him. It won’t matter how much I own, what I have to eat, or wear… just as long as His will is done, and I’m in the right place, doing what pleases Him. Ya… I would feel completely happy knowing that He is happy with me.

Praying…

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

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These past couple of months have been difficult.  It’s been a crazy experience, forcing me to painfully bend in humility, then reevaluate certain important values in my life.

After pride comes the fall.

Through the struggle, it’s been a blessing in disguise for me to realize things within myself that need change.

Life has it’s ups and downs… and I forget to count my blessings sometimes.  I was painfully reminded of where to keep my focus, but ultimately, I’m thankful for His revelation.  I trust that this year will continue to bring me much happiness through faith.

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

Girl time

Guy time

I’m really confused as to where I belong…..

Looking forward to these next few days!

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

Shaun Evaristo — Movement Lifestyle/American Idol

Some random girl — American Idol

Kaba Modern Legacy

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

American Idol, here we come!!!!!

I’m thankful to this man right here for giving me my dream come true, and the rest of these amazing people for making the past few days the BEST thing I could ever ask for.

TRAVIS GARLAND

Director: Marty Kudelka Choreographer: Shaun Evaristo

AJ and Sarah James

Dancers: Dana Wilson and Devon Perri stretching

Dancers: Lyle Beniga, Johnny Erasme, and DMoe

sweaty buttmark….. -_-

Check out rehearsal footage here: MEET TRAVIS GARLAND
Perez Hilton stopped by our rehearsal to interview Travis

It’s funny how one small choice can change the course of your life.. (ahem…butterfly effect).  I was on the fence about auditioning for this due to my huge fear of auditioning.  Without having an agent, I told myself that I’d crash auditions anyway and test my luck.  I was hesitant to audition.. I was terrified during the audition cuz I’ve only been to about 4 in my entire life… but I had to keep in mind that this year IS different… this year, I’m gonna make it!  In the end, I’m glad I did something I knew I was afraid to do–Thank you to Knicole for calling me and telling me about this!  I wouldn’t have known about the audition if I didn’t hear it from you! Take chances… you never know what can happen….

So…..

We’ll be performing on AMERICAN IDOL tonight! What the heck?!?!? I .. don’t… really believe it yet…..  To be working with the people involved in this project is pretty unbelievable.  Travis is an amazing artist and is so talented.  To top it off, he’s hellamadd cool and humble and funny.. and he works damn hard.  By watching him, the other dancers, and the directors, I’m trying to soak in as much as I can at rehearsals.  I’m honored to be in the same room to watch how magic is made.  It’s exciting to watch your role models in action and to have the opportunity to learn from them.  I only hope to do my best–to listen, learn, and improve..

I want to thank those who believed in me by making them proud.. I want to thank those who’ve given me this opportunity and who saw something in me, cuz this is what I’ve been waiting for and I don’t want to let people down.  There’s so much excitement and gratitude I want to express that I don’t really know what to do with myself…. I’d freak people out if they could see how I’m really feeling inside.

Thank you Shaun. Thank you AJ.  Thank you Marty. Thank you Travis… Thank you everyone… I really could go on and on about this…. but… maybe I’ll write more after the show tomorrow 🙂

Catch it on TV if you can 😉

When God has a plan, things come together.
–Travis Garland

Thank you, Lord.

old video – Travis’ rendition of Beautiful Nightmare

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

I start next weekend, Saturday May 15th.
Every Saturdays @ 4:30pm 🙂

I’m pretty excited to meet more amazing talent and to push my creativity to it’s limits by training/teaching @ Debbie as much as I can.  Thank you to everyone who’s supported me and pushed me artistically!  So many of you have helped me LOTS.  I learn so much from so many dancers I meet.  Thank you for coming into my life, and thank you @drdancestudio!

VIDEO TIME
here are some recent videos

Ciara – Ride

Me and Aubrey Caldwell – No Diggity

Me and Ellen Kim – It’s Whatever

Boogiezone – Interview

up next:
Vegas – teaching @ Essence MVMNT on Saturday
Attending Lyle & Jayson’s classes on Sunday in Vegas

I wanna be Peter Petrelli

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

It’s easy to say “I LOVE DANCE,” and praise everything about it, and encourage other people to pursue it when things, for the most part, are going in the right direction ________

professionally

physically

financially

socially

artistically

mentally

….emotionally

I think I’ve been so comfortable and happy for a while with teaching and rehearsing with my usual groups, that finally when I’ve decided to take steps towards a different realm in dance, I found myself to be in a damn PIT again cuz I’ve wandered into unknown territory… professionally, physically, financially, socially, artistically, mentally, and emotionally… It’s pretty scary.

Things have not been perfect.  Income is not exactly stable.  Opportunities are there for you to create or to take, but never usually GRANTED.  As a dancer, YOU are YOUR OWN business.  You make sacrifices for yourself… You compromise luxuries.. all with the hope of potentially bringing yourself up to another level, but not really seeing results as quickly as you’d want.  Being a dancer becomes a LIFESTYLE.. not just a CAREER.  If you are NOT working hard and making smart choices all the time to make something out of yourself, good luck being successful in this environment.  It’s always a struggle to find some kind of balance… with… EVERYTHING!  Yesterday, I was tired of everything.  I was pretty much like… “F!#%@ it..”  to everything.

But then I realized that these are the moments that define us.  What I’ve learned as a dancer.. and I’m not even ANY ONE in the industry.. not many people really know who I am.. I haven’t booked any crazy jobs…. I’m not with any agency–I just recently decided I was gonna crash auditions and hope for the best… what I’ve learned through all of this STRUGGLING is that I’ve been put in some unfortunate situations coming out of nothing…  but being put in those situations, I KNOW that it’s within me to get through it, cuz I’m still alive and I’m still passionate and willing to work hard towards what I do.

Only when you’re in a position where things are going WRONG can you really determine the strength you have within to overcome whatever ish life is throwing at you…

and with that said… “This too shall pass.” – Thank you Marc Roy.  I have the choice to let this crap eat me alive, but I choose not to.  For a day, maybe I did… but overall, this is just gonna fuel me to finally get what I want.. cuz I’m damn tired of it.

Chin up.  Sh!t happens… but we’re all stronger than we think and we bounce back.. and I appreciate this rough time for at least making me SO angry that I wanna prove this devil WRONG.

ps.  I still love dance.. more than ever.. even when the going gets tough.

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence


PROVERBS 31:10-31

You don't know me yet... but you will. - BZ

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