In God She Trusts

When The Going Gets Tough

Posted on: April 27, 2010


It’s easy to say “I LOVE DANCE,” and praise everything about it, and encourage other people to pursue it when things, for the most part, are going in the right direction ________

professionally

physically

financially

socially

artistically

mentally

….emotionally

I think I’ve been so comfortable and happy for a while with teaching and rehearsing with my usual groups, that finally when I’ve decided to take steps towards a different realm in dance, I found myself to be in a damn PIT again cuz I’ve wandered into unknown territory… professionally, physically, financially, socially, artistically, mentally, and emotionally… It’s pretty scary.

Things have not been perfect.  Income is not exactly stable.  Opportunities are there for you to create or to take, but never usually GRANTED.  As a dancer, YOU are YOUR OWN business.  You make sacrifices for yourself… You compromise luxuries.. all with the hope of potentially bringing yourself up to another level, but not really seeing results as quickly as you’d want.  Being a dancer becomes a LIFESTYLE.. not just a CAREER.  If you are NOT working hard and making smart choices all the time to make something out of yourself, good luck being successful in this environment.  It’s always a struggle to find some kind of balance… with… EVERYTHING!  Yesterday, I was tired of everything.  I was pretty much like… “F!#%@ it..”  to everything.

But then I realized that these are the moments that define us.  What I’ve learned as a dancer.. and I’m not even ANY ONE in the industry.. not many people really know who I am.. I haven’t booked any crazy jobs…. I’m not with any agency–I just recently decided I was gonna crash auditions and hope for the best… what I’ve learned through all of this STRUGGLING is that I’ve been put in some unfortunate situations coming out of nothing…  but being put in those situations, I KNOW that it’s within me to get through it, cuz I’m still alive and I’m still passionate and willing to work hard towards what I do.

Only when you’re in a position where things are going WRONG can you really determine the strength you have within to overcome whatever ish life is throwing at you…

and with that said… “This too shall pass.” – Thank you Marc Roy.  I have the choice to let this crap eat me alive, but I choose not to.  For a day, maybe I did… but overall, this is just gonna fuel me to finally get what I want.. cuz I’m damn tired of it.

Chin up.  Sh!t happens… but we’re all stronger than we think and we bounce back.. and I appreciate this rough time for at least making me SO angry that I wanna prove this devil WRONG.

ps.  I still love dance.. more than ever.. even when the going gets tough.

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

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