In God She Trusts

Archive for November 2009

Being out here in Switzerland, especially during Thanksgiving, has really given me the opportunity to reflect on myself… being alone.  I believe that everything happens for a reason, and for some reason, God did put me out here during this holiday and I think it was probably so that I am forced to spend time quietly to just listen and hear him.  Though I wasn’t able to experience a normal Thanskgiving holiday with my close family and friends, I am here in Switzerland, living an opportunity I never thought I’d have, and I can’t complain.  Thank God.

I realized in reflection that it’s been a long time since I’ve turned to God for direction.  I’ve realized that though I want many things in my life, I’ve forgotten what I should want first and foremost:

God, I pray that I do not lose sight of your will.  I believe you’ve given me the gift of dance to do good things.  I hope that in dance, I’ve inspired, I’ve touched lives, I’ve made connections to souls… These are good things for ME, but help me to move away from selfishness, and instead act towards completing YOUR will.  None of my work, past, present, or future means anything if not to glorify you, praise you, or be in your will.  It’s very hard on a second to second basis to resist temptation and keep focused on your will, but I don’t wan’t to be selsfish, as I owe you my entire being, body, and posessions.  I am weak, but I have faith in Jesus.  I act disobediently, but I remember Jesus and call upon you to fix me.  Please convict me of selfish intentions when I do things purely for me and out of your desires.  Nothing I accomplish is good without you and without your divine blessing.  I pray to see more of you, to grow stronger in faith, and to let the Holy Spirit living within me shine through, so that I may do good things in your name.

Matthew 5:14-16
“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Amen and God bless if y’know what I’m goin through.

ps.  God has created a beautiful world.  I don’t deserve it, but I thank him for the opportunity to see the world he created.  I pray for strength.. to remain in faith.. and to turn away from things I know I should.

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence


inspired by Bruce Wilkinson’s Dream Giver

The only one who can stop you from achieving your dreams, is you.

One day, the Dream Giver gives you a dream.  From that day on… for weeks, months, and years, you hold your dream close.  You think about it everyday and it makes you feel good, but for some reason it exists only in your mind… maybe because your dream is so wild and so much different than the life you lead, that you can’t imagine it to be something REAL.

There are people who can’t escape the desire to pursue their dreams… and it is CRAZY… because  when you really think about it, the YOU in your dreams might be a totally different YOU–and we don’t always embrace what’s different.  In your dreams, you do things you’ve always wanted to do, but are afraid to do.  In your dreams, you possess all kinds of treasures and talents that you don’t currently have, but constantly wish for.  Your dream is the closest thing to PERFECT, isn’t it?  Many people deny their dreams though, because the road to perfect will lead them to this completely DIFFERENT world.  Naturally, we want to be comfortable, and are afraid of the unknown.  This FEAR is what stops most of us from living the life we dream of.  The road to dreams is foreign… risky… full of challenges, surprises, roadblocks, and detours when you least expect it… and you’ll find yourself in the SCARIEST and most uncomfortable places once you start your journey.  Are you willing to face your biggest fears?  Because your dream will FORCE you to face them.  Once you start walking the glorious path to your dreams, the only way out is to take courage and keep moving forward–or you can turn around, and go back home.

You’ve heard many success stories about people who have almost nothing and rise up against the challenges to become the great people they are… so you should know that anything is possible even for you.  These people decided to stop hiding their dreams and turn it into reality.  Of course, BIG dreams require BIG actions on your part.  Sometimes the pressure is too much and people have backed out, but we must never give up or settle for comfortable when we KNOW that we are destined for greater things and when we’ve worked so hard to get to where we are.  The Dream Giver has given you your dreams for a purpose.  Don’t forget that He’s there to help you and fill you with hope even in the scariest and darkest times.

  • Give your dream the chance you deserve.
  • Do not doubt, but have faith.
  • Trust in the Dream Giver.
  • Trust in your dream.
  • Trust in yourself.


in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

Even nice people have their moments.  If Joesar hadn’t kept pushing ol’ girl away, I almost would’ve hit someone at the club last night.  It’s a little dangerous that when I’m drunk I feel like I can do anything–but I guess, that’s how self-centered alcohol makes people.. and that’s why people like it… and that’s why people shouldn’t do too much of it.

Anyway, this girl hellamadd ran into me as she was dancing.  I turned around, expecting her to acknowledge that she pushed  me… instead, she walked away.  She wasn’t the problem.  I could let something like that go.  It was her OTHER friend.  Her friend jumps in front of my face, and says

Eyy.. I saw you looking at mah homegirl!

Me:  Uhh… ya she bumped into me.

Well, you’ve been bumpin into me ALL NIGHT!

Me:  Really… all night?!

ALL NIGHT.. ALL NIGHT! .. ALL NIGHT!!  (as she pushes up closer and closer)

First of all, we were the ONLY people up in that boo-boo club on a Tuesday night–there was way too much room.  Why are you that close to me! I was chillin and barely dancing… I clearly was NOT bumping into her all night.

Before I could say anything, Joesar was pushing me back.. and all of homegirls’ friends bum-rushed her and forced her out of the club.  Aggressive much?!  Apparently, her friends knew better.  Get crazy girl out of the club!

Girls love the attention and the adrenaline rush when they’re drunk, I guess.  Nothing happened, but I was pissed off at that girl for being stupid and coming at me for no damn reason.  I spoke and intended to do immature things, as can be told by Tweets that night… but I do know better.  I’ma chill out on the alchie for a while–it’s bad news.  We all have faults and weaknesses that we struggle with, and we should not let them take over us.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

— Constantly praying for the strength to obey
and resist the natural desire to do wrong.

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

PROVERBS 31:10-31

You don't know me yet... but you will. - BZ



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