In God She Trusts

On Long Distance Love

Posted on: July 3, 2009


Recently I posed a question on Twitter:

If u were deeply in love, is it worth it to be involved in a long distance relationship if u had to be away from them for at least a year?  Another question, what if it’s 2 years of being w/out them? What keeps u holding on if u cant really ‘share’ ur life w/ them?

 I know people can’t give their complete answers and explanations in less than 150 characters, but I was interested in seeing general responses.  

Personally, this is not a situation I am currently in, but in the profession of entertainment, I might possibly be, could potentially be in a situation like this sooner or later, couldn’t I?   I mean, it’s a common thing for dancers to leave their family and friends in pursuit of this career.  People leave their hometowns, go on tours with artists for years at a time, travel internationally, live and teach abroad…  these are great opportunities towards this career at the expense of valuable time to be spent with important people in our lives.   I think we can all agree that intimate relationships become hard to keep under such circumstances.  We all know people who go through this–not just entertainers: wives/girlfriends of military men, work oriented couples separated because of their long-term careers, couples who live apart because of school, all kinds of people… we see it everywhere.  I was just curious to know how people think they’d cope.. putting themselves in others’ shoes. 

Most people answered with something along the lines of “love has no boundaries.”  I agree, I believe that true love has no boundaries. .. I “truly love” my family.  If they moved away to another country, no boundary could keep me from loving them–that’s completely unconditional.  I “truly love” my best friends.  If they moved to another city/state, I know we could pick up right where we left off and things could be the same, because my relationship with them has been built over a strong foundation of time and experience.

And what about that intimate love shared between signifant others?  I don’t think any one of us enjoys feeling lonely or entertains the thought of living alone for the rest of our lives–it’s not a very good thought, is it?  Didn’t God create Eve, because he felt that it wasn’t good for man to be alone?

So that’s where the hard part is.  It’s human nature for us to dread loneliness.  On the other hand, it’s natural for us to be happy when we feel a closeness and connection to the ones we love.   People find ways to escape the feeling of loneliness and to fill the void of intimacy.. that’s the difficult part.  If, everyday, people just want to feel a closeness to others, what would you do.. how much could you bare it if you couldn’t experience that?

My personal opinion:  Every relationship is different.  Every individual has their own needs, wants, and expectations of a relationship.. so it all depends on what couples want out of their long distance relationship.  If two people have a mutual understanding about what their relationship means to them.. what they expect from each other… where they see their relationship heading, then I believe a relationship can last through a long period of time.  If intimacy can be ruled out, then it could be possible *Thanks Nielsen Cocino for your great Twitter response 🙂  But I know from personal experience that being without the one who makes you happy is a difficult thing to go through. 

So in my position.. according to what I need from a relationship, I wouldn’t wanna be alone.  I would need to know that I could actually share and experience my life with another person sooner or later.  If “togetherness” is questionable, then the relationship would be questionable.  If there is no future of being and experiencing the ups and downs of life TOGETHER, there’d be no point–for me, at least.  Every relationship is different… so it all depends on what people need from that special person in their lives.

With that said, madd respect and props to those of you who are in a situation like this. You might not get enough credit or recognition for all the trouble you go through.

P.s.  No, I am not going anywhere.  Establishing stability and balance while living in Hollywoodland is hellamadd key right now 🙂  Not as easy as i thought.

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

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3 Responses to "On Long Distance Love"

Truer words have never been spoken. I do agree with the statement: Every relationship is different. To each their own, I always say. I’m glad to have been some sort help to you, even though my twitter responses always suck eggs. Haha.

Im currently in a long distance relationship Or i was (i hope) since im hoping we dont have to be apart anymore.
I think is hard to be away from the people u love, with family is a lil bit different cause u know they are gonna be there for u no matter what but with your partner is hard. U just have to trust him. Its hard and im still working on it cuase if not your life would be miserable.
Weve been “together” for 3 years now… makes it specially hard that im from Peru and he is from the US so even though i speak english and he understands spanish its just another thing we have to deal with in our relationship
I think i wouldnt recomend to be on a long distance relationship if u dont have any plans of changing that situation. its ok for a while even a long while but it think what kept me going was that one day we wouldnt have to be apart anymore.

LDR’s. me and my significant other met last summer and has been on and off ever since. we live a couple states away from each other here on the west coast of the US. only see each other during summer. so, it hasn’t been a very long time if you look at it on a lifetime perpective. it’s especially hard being high schoolers, with all the peer pressure. i don’t know how we did it but we made it through a year. we might have been on and off but everytime we came back to each other after screwing up, we came back twice as hard and knew we wouldn’t really wanna be with anybody else. and we screwed up pretty badly sometimes.

you’re right when you say every relationship is different. whenever i compare my relationship to what i see in movies or other people’s relationship, i start thinking too much and start questioning. i learned that i shouldn’t do that and just go with what i feel. sometimes i don’t understand what i’m feeling. but once i lose something, it finally gets to me. so whenever my relationship status was off, it was horrible. i tried getting to know other people but nobody ever compared to that one person. it didn’t feel right anyways. that’s when i started to realize who i really wanted to wake up with every morning, on the phone XP

i know that we’re young and we still got a long way to go. young and selfish. selfish because we want each other all to ourselves. we want to grow up together even though we’re apart. we don’t try to dwell on the past. we live the present, day by day. and we hope to grow more together in the future. it’s a long, really long, like a million miles long, narrow road towards the main goal – being together.

no relationship is perfect, right? that i believe but have a hard time gettin it through my head. i also believe that nobody, even if they tried, can understand and feel for your relationship and what you as a couple are going through or what you have. you have to work it out together.

so, is it worth being in a long distance relationship even if you can’t see each other for at least a year? yes, if you have a founation to stand on and you’ve made up where you’re going, it’s definately worth it. what keeps me holding on? trust – in that person and in God. faith – on the love being created. hope – for a bright happy future with each other.

gots respect for you,
and the essence ladies for doing what you do.
keep it up keep it up.

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