In God She Trusts

Archive for July 2009

I do my thing and you do yours.  I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine.  You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful.  If not, it can’t be helped.

If we aren’t in this world to live up to each other’s expectations, then who’s expectations are we to live up to?  And what are we in this world to do??

I know the answer–not the full plan and details of it, but I know the who and the what of my life.  Have I followed through?  To my Father and the big purpose appointed to me, sadly, I don’t think so…  I’ve drifted off in selfish pursuit and disobedience… but maybe this new venture will re-awaken me, as a reawakening has been long overdue.  

When one door closes, another one opens.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to see the amazing world you created.  I know these things I shouldn’t take for granted, nor should I be selfish.  It happens for a reason, and in your name, I will move forward…

I pray for strength, understanding, humility, and your grace.
I’ve pushed you aside, my first and foremost love.
Please forgive me.

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence


Me and Candz in JR’s class

Me and Asaki in Candz’s class

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

FRIENDSHIP gives license to show up at the door of need without asking, “When would you like me to come?” or “What would you like me to do?”  Nor does friendship call out, “Just let me know if you need anything.”

Practiced friendship whispers, “I’ll be there” and promptly steps through the door with sensitivity, respect, and understanding.

But what about honoring the right to invite?  Those who wait for parchment invitations wait long, for need rarely throws  party — rarely even has a voice.

Yet need has its own needs.  It needs protection from strangers tromping in with work boots and good intentions.  And it needs relief from acquaintances wearing the spiked heels of advice and pat answers.

Needs waits with longing for the familiar entrance of dear ones who pad barefoot through the soul on ordinary days.

–Susan L Lenzkes

It’s normal to forget and to underestimate our worth to the people who value us as friends and family.  I came across this passage and it struck me, because it made me reflect on my relationships with the closest people in my life.  People who become so busy with life get caught up.  In the midst of busyness, I must confess… I’ve underestimated the worth of phone calls just to check up.  I’ve underestimated the worth of saying “bye” to friends at parties–people like to know when you’re leaving.  I’ve underestimated the worth of listening and not speaking.  I’ve underestimated the worth of doing something the other person likes to do.  As India Arie says, “It’s the little things.. and the joy they bring.”  God knows that I apologize for forgetting.

I recently celebrated my 24th birthday and it showed me that I am truly blessed to have such great people in my life.  That should not be taken for granted, ever. 

Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

Recently I posed a question on Twitter:

If u were deeply in love, is it worth it to be involved in a long distance relationship if u had to be away from them for at least a year?  Another question, what if it’s 2 years of being w/out them? What keeps u holding on if u cant really ‘share’ ur life w/ them?

 I know people can’t give their complete answers and explanations in less than 150 characters, but I was interested in seeing general responses.  

Personally, this is not a situation I am currently in, but in the profession of entertainment, I might possibly be, could potentially be in a situation like this sooner or later, couldn’t I?   I mean, it’s a common thing for dancers to leave their family and friends in pursuit of this career.  People leave their hometowns, go on tours with artists for years at a time, travel internationally, live and teach abroad…  these are great opportunities towards this career at the expense of valuable time to be spent with important people in our lives.   I think we can all agree that intimate relationships become hard to keep under such circumstances.  We all know people who go through this–not just entertainers: wives/girlfriends of military men, work oriented couples separated because of their long-term careers, couples who live apart because of school, all kinds of people… we see it everywhere.  I was just curious to know how people think they’d cope.. putting themselves in others’ shoes. 

Most people answered with something along the lines of “love has no boundaries.”  I agree, I believe that true love has no boundaries. .. Read the rest of this entry »

Tony Czar’s Epiphany

Mine & Joesar’s Walkin On The Moon taught @ Debbie

Kaba Modern Legacy’s Performance @ Body Rock

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence

PROVERBS 31:10-31

You don't know me yet... but you will. - BZ



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