In God She Trusts


Posted on: January 23, 2009

Revisiting an old blog post…  revisiting.. my faith.

“The power of gravity is freakin amazing. It’s natural for all earthly matter to be pulled downward even against their will, no matter how much strength they posses. All things are forced to the ground. My biggest fears include falling… drowning… being pulled quickly or even slowly against my will, with nothing to grasp to save me and keep me from the end that I know is coming.

I don’t know how correct this may be, but when I say gravity pulls all material things down, I’m also thinking about our own spirit. Well… lemme change that. It’s not gravity.. it’s not a force of nature that pulls us.. our souls aren’t event matter. It’s US… it’s in OUR natural and internal state as humans to look down.. or.. be negative. It’s always easy to complain. It’s always easy to get angry. It’s easy to be sad. It’s easy to be lazy, sit around, do nothing, and be unproductive. It’s easy to get jealous, and be bitter. It’s easy to be selfish or rude. It’s easy to act impulsively when we think bad thoughts. On the other hand, it takes work to fix complaints. It’s a fight against ourselves to control our anger. It takes work to control jealousy, bitterness, and to be wise and cautious in our dealings. In our pursuit of happiness, strength HAS to kick in or else we’re doomed in allowing that natural negative tendency to take over.

We are naturally drawn to others who give us hope. People feel good around any symbols of positivity, happiness, encouragement, and support. Why?.. because there is an overwhelming amount of negativity in the world and in ourselves. I find that those who maintain positive thoughts and those who keep their focus upward regardless of daily crappy situations (cuz we all have them) posses great strength—that’s REAL strength and REAL control… A good attitude despite horrible circumstances that are ALWAYS and inevitable.

Though it’s a fight and it takes hellamadd work to stay upp, I do try to focus my energy upward trying to meet the crazy expectations of my life: working full time, other duck, boogiezone, dancing every night, surviving daily on just a few hours of sleep, trying to spend time with friends and fam, keeping up with the OTHER things I enjoy doing like reading, writing, me-time or even quiet time with God. Though I may not have enough alone time with Him, He’s present 24.7 in my life. How would I manage all these activities without the support and encouragement I receive through His love and without believing that He always blesses his children? There exists a force greater than gravity to pull me upwards. If my spirit is falling… or drowning and suffocating in negativity, I know of a loving power to carry me and fill me with breaths of fresh air. I know of a great being who gives me vitality, inspiration, and drive the closer I get to Him.

I guess I just wanna say thank you to my Father… for promising me a most fulfilling spirit even through the craziness and the pressures that could easily break me down.”

Recently, I’ve felt distracted from God… it happens to us all right?  I remember writing this and remembering how much inspiration God filled me with.  I need that back.  

pray.  read.  be good.  

in God we trust
<33 apes x essence


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PROVERBS 31:10-31

You don't know me yet... but you will. - BZ



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